"Why Are You Still Single? By Greg Hernandez

When asked a question like that, does your face immediately contort into a mixture of anger, confusion and desperation? Are you reacting to the accusatory tone of voice which is utilized to deliver a question like that? Does it cause your face to harden?

Now, If the answer is yes, then please, STOP.  Relax your face. Sure, it is perfectly normal to react to a question like that, but once you do, try to take a deep breathe and chill. Melt that face of yours. let the anger drop off. There's no need for it.

There are a multitude of reasons for why a person is single, and that's ok. In the immortal words of Don Draper, "You're born alone and you die alone and this world drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts."

Take me for example, as 2014 is coming to a close, I have been in 3 relationships this year. All have been brief. By brief, I mean less than 3 months. Many of my friends find the words "single" and "Greg" to be synonymous.

The question, "Why are you still single?" has been directed toward me so many times that I am no longer annoyed by it. I am now amused. Why? Well, for starters I have many answers and those answers are all honest. My honesty allows me to be care free.

If you're reading this and are "still" single too, perhaps we share the same reasons.

-I cannot control why I am single. I just am.
-I'm too awesome to be in a relationship.
-I'm young.
-I haven't met anyone who is worthy of my time. Yes, I value my time, don't you?
-Met someone at the wrong time.
-Person of interest moved away.
-Feelings faded.
-I screwed up my chances with said person.-
-They screwed up their chances with me.
-Person cannot let go of their ex.
-I'm not right for that person or vice-versa.
-Haven't met someone I want to truly be with
-Every time I meet a hot woman, something is wrong with em.
-Am I picky? I don't know...you tell me.
-The person is timid..."timid bores me," (Ellaria Sand, Game of Thrones).
-Age does in fact matter.
-I never made a move.
-We remained friends.

There are an abundance of reasons. I have come to learn that it is ok. The "still" is yet another convoluted tool that society uses to perpetuate the notion that it is bad to be alone.

 If you're alone, then you must be lonely. You need to remain together, eventually marry, have kids and contribute to the population...Yup, I said it. I am now 24. I am at the high point of my life. I have a large network of filmmakers, writers, actors, editors, collaborators, etc. I am happy. I have goals. I am on a mission. The pursuit is keeping me going.

The cliches are true. For me, women come and go.

It is easy to meet women. There is a sea of them. I live in New York City. The opportunities are endless.

Is their a hookup culture? Yes. Do I thrive in it. Hell yes...does it affect my dating habits...of course.

Have I missed out on wonderful opportunities...maybe, but I'm not sweating the past and neither should you.

We live in the age of online dating, instantaneous communication and morbid gossip. We're picky, eager, multi-tasking, shallow individuals, with short attention spans. Swipe right or left people please!

Yet, for me, I enjoy meeting people even if things don't necessarily reflect on the relationship scoreboard of life. I meet women all the time. I love it. Talking to multiple women at once is an awesome learning experience. It also bolsters my chances of getting laid.

So, I do not enter many relationships. In college I seldom dated, I hooked up a lot, because it was...college. Once again, I'm young so I have the perspective of, I don't need a relationship for any reason really.

I don't need a relationship for sex.

We all know this. So let me finally dive in to the core of this post.

Enjoy being single. Revel in it. You're independent. Concentrate on your life. Discover what your ambitions are. Meet your goals. Focus on your dreams. Keep the relationships on the back burner. Have lots of amazing sex. Be a slut, because it's the 21st century, we're all sluts. Get with the program, the program is get busy fucking or get busy dying. People will judge you, you cannot stop them from doing that, by understanding that you will always lose that battle, you actually win it.

You have the rest of your life to be in relationships. If a relationship is really your thing, great. If it's hampering your dreams, then it is time to find a new thing.

I notice that I am the type of person who comes off as a flirt. I come off that way, because I am.
Forget the courting crap...who has time? I'm blunt. If I find you attractive, I'm going to let you know. I'm vulgar. My lexicon can get dirty in heart beat. If you think I'm attractive, let's cut the bullshit and get together.

I remember growing up watching all of these male comedians talk about how women are crazy and they have major emotional issues. You can't live with them and you can't live without em. I learned what that truly meant last year! Relationships are harder than ever. It requires a lot of investment and quite frankly, I have yet to meet someone (post-college) who I have felt strongly enough to pursue anything remotely serious with.

"Why are you still single?"

"How are the women?" It comes again and again. "Why is there no woman around your arm?"

"Greg, you're smart and good looking. Why no girlfriend?"

"Is there something, that you're doing wrong?"

"It's gotta be you." "What's wrong with you?" "Still single?"

It comes in a barrage and does not end until they see you holding hands.

"Where is she?"

I have no concrete answer, because I don't need one. I'm single.

I met this gorgeous Chilean woman named Belu, last year. She called me a Jelou...I thought it meant jealous...I looked it up, it means, "A man who does not realize how handsome he is..."

That's all I have to say on this.

"How Should One View Criticism?" By Greg Hernandez

How you handle criticism, speaks volumes of your character.

How should you view it? As a bright opportunity to get better in your respective craft.

Today, many of my close friends came over to my home. The purpose for this group visit was for the production meeting of a short film that I am currently writing.

 They spoke about how far the story has come from the 1st draft to the 4th. I looked around my living room at my peers. This wonderful group of talented individuals are from my Alma Mater. Many came from great distances to be apart of something that I have created. It was beyond inspiring.

I listened to their comments, unbiased and completely devoid of ego. I realized the truth. It is because of them that my story has come this far. Their constructive criticisms, ideas, questions and overall thoughts have helped me to create a story worth telling.

I am thankful that I have an abundance of friends who care enough to read draft after draft with the purpose of making it great. A sudden burst of realism strikes me like a harsh wind. "They care so much about this story!"

I am happy that I have learned how to be more receptive to sharp criticisms. It allows me to look at myself differently. The criticisms force me to take a long, hard look at my work and see it in the eyes of someone else.

A fresh perspective gives me the advantage to cultivate true writing. By, true writing, I mean something new. No more cliches. Thanks to the honesty and support of my friends, I am equipped with the tools to become a better writer and person.

As a human being, we never truly look forward to hearing or seeing our work critiqued, but I have now matured enough to the point that I understand that it is necessary to tackle the criticisms. It will make me better.

Now, I look forward to the criticism. I am thankful that I have such a strong network of friends, who can read my work and fire back amazing comments, notes and corrections my way.

I believe in accepting criticism. It is an important part of growing in one's craft. I respect everyone's view. I look forward to everyone's thoughts on whatever project I am involved with. Equality is important. We're all human beings. We all have brains. We all deserve to let our thoughts be known.

 I try my best to never shy away from listening to someone's thoughts on my work. I honestly believe that should be the case for all writing. Professional or amateur.

There have been so many forewords that I have read by my favorite artists who have extensively discussed how it is imperative that all their editors, publishers, friends and family members read their work and give them feedback.

As someone who deeply enjoys the process of writing a good story, I find receiving feedback and revising to be equally titillating. I just flat out love it. Without my network of friends to assist me, I would be way behind as a writer.

Keep your intelligent and trustworthy friends by your side. They are the key to making you become the better you.

I owe many thanks to my friend Ashley Smith, who is my personal editor.

Education, Tuition Cost and Life After College

In the past six months, I have spoken with many close friends who are graduating from college this fall and upcoming spring. All of them have the same concern. "What will I be doing after college?"

Their list of worries are as followed:

- Work.

- Loan Payments.

- When to move out?

- Wait, should I move out?

- If so, where to?

- How long should I wait to move out?

- How do I make my dream(s) possible?

- What are the necessary steps?
-Why don't I have this figured out yet?
-Graduate school or travel for a year?
-Wait, travelling, costs money...so does Graduate School...Hmm,,,backpacking? Solo travelling?

The list as I'm sure you're aware, goes on...

Below are some helpful tips and suggestions that can help ease your tension.
This list is not meant to solve your problems. It is meant to get your thoughts going for a good game plan.

If this list does not help, I have a little rant afterward.

1. Network - We live in the age of instantaneous information. Social Media is that epicenter of said information. My generation is in the middle of it. Ten years ago I was 13 and in the 8th grade. I did not get a cell phone from my parents until I nearly graduated that year. Now I possess a bevy of skills that afford me a multitude of possibilities. I can peruse the web on my phone. I can update my websites, profiles, photos, blogs, acting reels and respond to e-mails. I can create effective content that can maximize the marketing potential of my brand - that brand is me.

Be selfish, this is your life. You are your brand. Help optimize the brand- "you" make yourself marketable for life after college.

"Begin to monitor your Facebook and other social media accounts. Keep inappropriate or provocative photos and information off your page or change your privacy settings, so that employers cannot see them."

The above advice is something I snagged from the Internet. While I agree with most of it, keep in mind that employers want to find the most qualified candidate. The qualifications include who is the right fit, personality wise.

So, yes clean up your Facebook, but keep it interesting, be you. The right career will come.

Building your own website: Highlight all of your accomplishments, ambitions and passions. All are relevant.

Create your own business card: If you meet someone - anywhere you can secure them as a contact with your card.

Meet people: Do not just apply for jobs, do not limit yourself. Attend workshops, gatherings, parties and any other social events that will help you meet the right person/people. Remain upbeat and be outside, after all, some times it comes down to who you know.

Always dress your best: You never know when opportunity will strike. It would behoove you to try to always be prepared. Going into the city, dress well. 

2, Use all campus resources

Before you graduate, have your resume reviewed by a peer assistant at the career center

Speak with your professors and mentors. 

- Ask them to serve as your references. They can help you out in your job search by vouching for you as an excellent candidate

3. Volunteer 

This is a quick route to take if you're unsure of what to do after college,
Volunteering is a great way to stay active in a community.
Yes, it sucks to not get paid for work, but remember that volunteer work looks terrific on a resume and it is a great way to establish connections and further expand your network.

4. Develop Other Skills

Work on your deficiencies. Turn your weaknesses into strengths. Face your short comings and improve. It will make you more of an asset.

Below is a quick general list many employers are looking for in the modern world.

1. Ability to work in a team

2. Ability to make decisions and solve problems

3. Ability to plan, organize and prioritize work

4. Ability to communicate verbally with people inside and outside an organization

5. Ability to obtain and process information

6. Ability to analyze quantitative data

7. Technical knowledge related to the job

8. Proficiency with computer software programs

9. Ability to create and/or edit written reports

10. Ability to sell and influence others

5. Remember Those In Your Corner

Remember, having the support of even just one person can make a difference.
When you're feeling blue about your employment predicament, please allow whoever it is in your corner to lift your spirits.

Try not to shut them out. They are trying to help. You need them and they need you to remain upbeat.

RANT:

While riding the subway home after work, I saw this poster on the subway. 

I had a harsh reaction to it.

I thought, "Here's A Better Plan...Lower College Costs..."

Obama says that education is priceless. He's not wrong, but he's not right either. Education is priceless, but college is not. The cost of tuition continues to rise every year, which exacerbates the already heavy burden placed on middle and working class families. The word, "Class" annoys the hell out of me...forget class systems...

I am not going to get into specifics, in regards to numbers, but honestly this system is flat out against us. "Since 1985, U.S. college costs have surged by about 500 percent, and tuition fees keep rising. "

-Why should I pay to learn?

-Why should I pay to live and be fed while learning?
- Paying to live on college for the whole year when I'm there for only 10 months....12 months of rent...c'mon man!

-Is learning a privilege or a right? Answer: It's an expensive privilege...

-What the hell is out-of-state tuition? Paying more to go to another state to learn is despicable...

-Why do textbooks cost so much?

-We improve the infrastructure of our college buildings, but not your bridges...why? Oh I know why...because there's money in college.

Students are like cash cows...we pay all of this money for a fucking piece of paper that cannot guarantee us a career, but only struggle.

Graduate school is thrown at us, but that is even more money...more loans...and if you are not accepted...more heartache...

Join the military to avoid debt...I see what is going on here, America.

Everyone must go to college and spend...college is not affordable, but there are plans to make sure that you are able to pay in full...that is not affordable.

Education is priceless...college is not. College is not necessary. Yes. I said it. 

Get your high school diploma and leave the country. Apply to schools in Finland or Germany where the tuition is free. Start your living in northern Europe. 

I snagged the below statement from an article I read on countries that offer free college tuition.

"Dorothee Stapelfeldt, a senator in the northern city of Hamburg, said tuition fees "discourage young people who do not have a traditional academic family background from taking up study.  It is a core task of politics to ensure that young women and men can study with a high quality standard free of charge in Germany."

It has been extremely difficult for me to land a full-time job that I want to actually wake up in the morning for. I had a job offer after college, but turned it down, because I realized it would not make me happy.

Instead, I have had numerous interviews, several freelance jobs and gigs.
I want to move out soon, but still need to save money and land a better job.

Notice, I have only said the word, "job," so far. I know what my career will be.

I want to be a story teller. I will write for movies, television and theatre.  

I will act. I will produce, I will direct. I will advertise my brand: me.

I know I will do all of this, because I already am doing all of this.

My side projects are, Blogging, Creative Writing, Acting, Film, Theatre and Photography.

Soon, I will be able to live off of my side projects. I am keeping my dream alive through them.

So, my last bit of advice is this, you've paid so much for your education: which entails what you have learned in the classroom and everything you have experienced outside of it.

USE IT! ALL OF IT! USE IT ALL TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!

BELIEVE YOU WILL BE GREAT!!

I met a lot of awesome people in college.

My network is quite large. I am happy that my side projects have helped to keep me sane.

Yup, I'm the only black guy in every photo.

Hello World

I know the title isn't exactly interesting but it shows how I feel about my writing. It's not the best but that's why I'm doing this. And thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, it's much appreciated. I haven't let anyone else read any of my writing for years, out of fear of it being deemed "bad" or "stupid". Two basic but powerful words. What's life if not about sharing with others? I know, a little deep for my first post but what the hell.

Heres a some info about me:
My names Eston.
Ahh forget that you'll learn more along the way.

There are a few things I want to accomplish with this. I won't bore you with all of them just the special one's.

1. Growth- Who doesn't want this? But seriously, the gloves are off. Disagree with me. Tell me how you feel. Help me. Criticize my writing. Anything to push me or rather us forward.
2. Honesty- this isn't an essay for school which is pretty much the only thing I've written for for a few years now. So I'm going to leave the bullshit at the door. Besides I can't regret anything if I'm giving it 100% right?
3. Fun- Because it's important to stay positive(I can be a bit annoying with that at times). "Why so serious?" Life's too short to forget to smile yet somehow that manages to happen.

You see? Just 3, short and simple.
Thanks again for reading and I sincerely hope you enjoy.
OH and thanks Greg, my dear friend, for giving me this opportunity!

-Eston Jr.