The infamous scene here: "Hey, I'm walkin here!"
I love this scene, but the cars deserve their own video too. Perhaps Hoffman can star in another motion picture soon where he's the rude taxi driver, screaming, "Hey, I'm driving here!"
Ever jaywalked in New York City before? Sure you have, don't lie. We all have. No cars insight, I go. Car coming, who cares, I can make it. We all do it without a care in the world. As soon as we touch down on the sidewalk we instantly feel vindicated. Like George Carlin once said, "Cops didn't see it, I didn't do it." Who has the time to follow the rules? Why wait? Sprint, run, jog, skip across the street before the car hits you-feel the glow of their high beams on you at night. Hell, if you time it right and succeed you can even feel the heat of their high beams as you just manage to scamper by.
Alright, alright enough fooling around let's get to the point.
I know, I know Mayor Bill De Blasio wants to reduce the city speed limit from 30MPH to 25MPH. I know, I know the NYPD is making a strong-armed effort to ticket those pesky jaywalkers. At least the blitz lasted for about a week. I know, I know its all for naught-you cannot arrest or limit free will-those who wish to forsake an important childhood safety tip: looking both ways before crossing; deserve their inevitable grisly fate. "That’s people running out and being struck. They’re actually standing in intersections," Sgt. Felicia Montgomery said. It's all because of that damn Candy Crush Saga: "You see people, they’re not paying attention," the precinct's commanding officer, Capt. Michael Falcon, said. "They’re looking at their phones."
When it comes to life, only the living have a sense of humor about it. I imagine someone surviving a collision with a vehicle, laying in bed, paralyzed and heavily bandaged like a mummy-surrounded by their various relatives and friends. The mood is morose, yet unanimous, no more Candy Crush, ever again.
Well...I believe we have an answer here. What is an effective way to get a message out to the masses? Their smart phones. An overwhelming majority of New Yorkers have smart phones. Hell, its conformity, you don't have one you're living in the 90s or early 2000's. Christ, are we shallow-that is far too recent of a time. Mayor De Blasio must get his message out to the masses somehow. Reducing the speed limit and having the cops ticket jaywalkers is pointless. I know he must do something as Mayor, I'm aware some people like his idea, despite his current 39% approval rating. I don't mind his plan, it doesn't bother me-there is some validity to it, however, it would be an embarrassing law if approved. In New York City you can only drive 25 MPH in the streets. Why? Because the pedestrians are so brave- I mean stupid.
No law or speed limit adjustment can bring people closer to the sidewalks where they belong until the light changes to red, It cannot slow down an oncoming driver trying to make it pass yellow either. This is New York City. Its hectic and crowded. There are too many people and too many vehicles to regulate. Mayor Bill De Blasio should drop this futile campaign immediately. All the cameras and police officers will not make much difference. Catching even a majority of jaywalkers is an impossible endeavor. Limiting the speed of a majority of the vehicles is laughable.
The effort on both accounts is loudly superfluous. Chances are if you get hit by someone who is sober at the wheel, you probably caused your own injury or death. So many tourists, so many naive new yorkers, so many idiots with poor judgment. Perhaps jaywalking is an acquired skill that many people have yet to learn. From my own experience I have come to the realization that this whole issue is revolved around two basic states of endurance: patience and attention span.
It does not require much patience to wait 30 seconds on the sidewalk while the light changes. No, of course not, but who really does that-anyone? Very few. I conducted my own social experiment from March 1-8 (afternoon only). While walking around the streets of New York City that week, I carried around a small notebook, in which I took detailed notes of every block I crossed. I would stop at every green light on the sidewalk and take an approximate count of all jaywalkers, people waiting on the street, people who had their phones out, cars that had to honk just to get by and cars that missed the light because of crowds of pedestrians. I won't bore you with all the data, but the numbers were high for all categories. Now, transitioning into attention span, which is defined as "the amount of concentrated time on a task without becoming distracted." Oh, New Yorkers are good at that. We are dedicated to our phones. Walking toward oncoming traffic does not distract us. Learned behavior beats common sense any day of the week.
Remember we're human beings, we need laws telling us not to text/call while driving. Death is a natural process of life. It is meant to wipe out the weak-in this case the stupid. Now, I believe if you're caught texting and driving your license should be permanently revoked. If you're caught calling while driving, I believe some leeway is in order. Finally, if you're jaywalking and get hit by car, you should be fined for your stupidity. The fine should be doubled if you have no health insurance, because what the hell were you thinking? Oh, that's right you were not. The fine should be tripled if you were on your phone. Let's get serious De Blasio. With all the surveillance equipment at this government's disposal, I have no doubt in my mind that a clear picture or video could be produced of someone nonchalantly walking down the street with their phone out and then getting mowed down by a truck. I would record it over and over again and have it used as a mandatory tutorial video in every single smartphone. That way you will have an audience. When you purchase a new smart phone you are required by law to view the video detailing when to not use this phone. Or hell, perhaps smartphones should be smart enough to turn off every time we cross the street. Humans are dumb, technology should be made aware of that fact by now. It'll help them boost their confidence when they battle us for world domination. Attention span, attention span, come on stick to the solutions!
I have one more. Hire a million street crossing guards so nobody will die. Pay them well, let's say 13-18 bucks an hour. Forget the light. From now on you cross when the cross guard waves you over with a special signal. What is the signal you're asking? Well, I'll tell you. The sign will no longer be sporting "Stop" and "Go" like in the past, instead those two words will be replaced with: "Cross/ Dumbasses." Can't you picture it when you see a professional New York cross guard waves you over? The black sunglasses and pristine smirk on their faces as they work out their wrists, flipping the sign back and forth: "Cross/Dumbassess/Cross." You'll wish they had a whistle instead.
OR traffic cops can hand out fake summones?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/brooklyn-cops-hit-jaywalkers-fake-warning-notice-tickets-article-1.1720075
As a frequent driver, I am very annoyed by jaywalkers who would walk into the roads without looking both ways like they were made of steel or expect cars to just stop for them. When you honked them through frustration, they would give you the "stare" and/or they would yell at you like you did something wrong. I am not against jaywalking (I jaywalk many times too), but at the very least look both ways to make sure no cars are coming and not be on the phone. I may agree with your solutions, but in my opinion, people will just ignore and disobey them. They are not ignorant; they chose to jaywalk knowing the risk. They will not truly know the danger until they experienced it.