"Last Drags" Short Story By Greg Hernandez

 “Last Drags”

            Small circular puffs of smoke emerged from her mouth at a steady pace. She took the pipe again and inhaled deeply. A circle of friends all laughing and drinking around her made this woman the centerpiece of attraction. She closed her eyes as she exhaled through her nostrils. Pleasure covered her face like an exfoliating mask. The bartender placed a new coal for their hookah. The hookah pipe went around the circle of five, with beer, gossip, politics, intertwining the go around.

Their group was extremely sophisticated. All of them had their legs crossed and spoke softly. It made their conversations appear to be important. They stood out amongst the crowd of gluttonous spectators, fools, wannabes, jerk-offs, cunts, cock-teasers and low-lives. Now, this was a loud place. Things could get hectic in a hurry. Fights would start with the quickness of a match being lit. But not tonight, no tonight this beauty was in an impenetrable bubble. It protected her from the dirty and violent atmosphere that was the bar, called “Last Drags.” She was drinking “Delirium Tremens”, my Belgian Pale Ale. She wiped some of the bubble off her blue lips. She looked like a nympho. Those were the types; short jet black hair, fur coats to keep them warm, the tight dress to show off their physiques and the legs, my god those revealing legs! I bet her heels added 5 inches to her height. She looks like a bona fide freak, fucking dynamite under the sheets, I imagine.

            Carter sat the bar staring at it all. The air was intoxicating. A band at the far end was playing some psychedelic rock. The bartenders never had to pretend to look busy at this bar. They were always hurrying about, fixing drinks and hookahs. Sober people were exiting the bar and drunks were re-entering it. The bathroom lines extended out to the exit. People cheered and jeered and leered at the band’s style. Some guy called them “The Doors, 2.0.” Another guy called em “hacks.” Carter was at the center of it all, eye fucking this lady from a far.

            Carter tapped the bar with two fingers for another drink. “Blue Moon of course… a draft with the orange; fuck the bottle. Bottles, never do the drink justice can’t stand the fucks drinking mixed drinks or Bud Weiser. It’s a sin goddammit, a fucking sin. Besides, most of them lounge around yelling and belching about their shitty weeks, break ups, firings and fore closures. It’s the city that never sleeps because everyone is always bitching and moaning. I sip my Blue Moon and remain steady. I always drink it when I’m out on the hunt. I always drink Delirium after I strike out. I don’t plan on drinking it tonight though. No fucking way.

            Marty was yammering on about how he struck out with this Christian bitch last night. You don’t need to look at Marty to know it’s him talking. He’s always loud drunk and dramatic. Like a fucking actress in a musical. He bellows away three seats down about how he took some Christian bitch to a performance, dinner and a dancing.

“I WAS A PERFECT FUCKING GENTLEMAN TOO. I DIDN’T TOUCH HER NONE EITHER JUST HAD MY EYES GLUED TO THEM PERKY TITTIES OF HERS AND THAT MONSOON OF AN ASS MAH GAWD! “

“MARTY SHUT THE FUCK UP! “ Everyone always responded.

Carter sat and thought about Marty, half laughing and half exasperated, sitting sipping his Blue Moon watching it all. “My, oh my, there are a ton of weirdoes here tonight,” the bartender says. Carter lit his cigarette and nodded his head in agreement, eyes still fixed on the nympho.

“Listen I get off work at three, come by and do me after.” She says.

“Nah not tonight Ange,” Carter says.

 She fixes a drink and gives him a frown.

“Say, you know anything about the porno star over there? She’s giving me a goddamn boner. Strange I wanna make love to her y’know. Tell me she’ not exotic looking hah!”

“I never seen her before,” Ange says, looking down and pouring drinks.

“Well, then I guess she must be new in town then, interesting.

“No, just cuz it’s the first time seeing her doesn’t mean she’s new, for all you know, she’s been here a few times, just not when you’re here.”

“It’s fate!”

“No, more like coincidence.

“Fucking destiny, I’m telling you!”

 “She looks bald under that wig.”

“WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, YOU CUNT!”

Ange gave him a measuring look and took care of orders down on the opposite end of the bar, fingers, fists, crisp dollar bills, bracelets to show proof of age, all thumping and rolling around the bar. Everybody is in on the action tonight. People want to have a good time drinks and hookah equals a hook up Ange wants me, Marty wants the Christian bitch and I want the hot little nympho.

Carter eyes cast a light on the beautiful nympho. Her blue lips match the blue veins on his penis both are thick. He observes her, the way she speaks how she throws her head back and laughs at a comment. Her large smile accentuates her beauty. She is genuine. Her female friend gets up to join the bathroom line. The seat next to her is empty now. It’s time.

Carter finishes his drink, belches wipes his mouth, takes a final drag of his cigarette and put it out. He stares at his prey. She looks young. Maybe she just finished up at the university. It’s the end of spring. I bet money she’s a philosophy major. Bet she’d have a lot to say after sex. Her tight skirt barely contains those muscular thighs. He begins to walk toward her when Marty claps his hand on his shoulder and yells, “TYLER STOP STARING AT THAT GIRL’S SNATCH! YOU FUCKING PERVERT!”

“ Marty get off me ya filthy bastard. It’s not my fault she likes to show off her fat cat.”

“HAHA FAT CAT! THAT’S MY FAVORITE BAR! OH CARTER! I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS YOU!”

“Marty you’re disrupting my concentration.”

“I STRUCK OUT LAST NIGHT!
 “Yeah I heard Marty. We all heard… You’re louder than the band. I’m surprised that you haven’t been thrown out yet. People are giving you the death stare. Lay off of me before you get me thrown out with ya.”

“I’M SORRY! I  NEED TO GET MY DICK WET!!! ARE YAH GONNA BANG ANGE TONIGHT?”

“Nah you can have her…”
“YES! THANK YOU CASANOVA!”

Marty stumbled toward the end of the bar squeezing his way past the multitudes of people who despised him. Ange saw him coming the whole time. She was a masterful multitasker. Carter knew she had been watching their conversation. Her knowing eyes already full of fury at his departure and Marty’s approach. Marty nudged a man out of his way and speared his head over the side of the bar like dolphin shooting up out of the water. “HI ANGELA BABY! WHAT TIME YA GETTING OFF?”

Carter made his way toward Blue Lips. The band finished their song. People clapped. Girls and guys whistled and snapped their fingers. Carter complimented her outfit. She smiled. It was fate. She liked him. “About time you came over.” He laughed at her joke. He was destined to get lucky tonight. At the far end of the bar the sound of thunder erupted as Marty hit the floor holding his face. Ange yelled down to him, “ASSHOLE! DON’T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!” Uproar and applause shot through the bar when Marty was thrown out by two bouncers.

Marty lay on the side walk for a few minutes not knowing how he ended up outside. His eyes fluttered as he caught a glimpse of the bar, “Last Drags.” It was 3 am. Time for everyone to head home now, the weekend was over. Marty saw the people stumble out of the bars all loud laughing, yelling, parading, falling, fighting, arguing, kissing, grabbing, fondling, running for a cab, running for the last bus back to campus, running for a train, running, just running.

Marty finally saw Carter and blue lips amble out of the bar. They sauntered down the street holding hands. Marty yelled to his friend one last time. “CARTER WHAT’S HER NAME?” Carter and blue lips stopped. He turned his head toward her and whispered in her ear. She shook her head at him and smiled. He smiled back and kissed her lightly on those blue lips. “MONA” he yelled back and they continued on. Marty held his thumb up high and shouted, “GOOD JOB, GOOD JOB SIR!!”