"American Etiquette and Education" By Greg Hernandez

"More and more of us are living in cities. The Census Bureau just came out with some new stats, and they show that nearly 1 in 3 Americans are now living in one of the ten largest cities. One in seven live in just three of the cities: NY, Los Angeles, or Chicago." - Bill Maher

As more people move to cities, the more regressive rural areas become, Mr. Maher says. With that, the cities become denser. As a New Yorker I experience the effects of this overwhelming urban density on a daily basis.

-  For example, the Subway.
This is not some sort of New Yorker 101 guide for surviving and navigating the tube. This mode of transportation is dangerous even for veteran New Yorkers. Here are a few of my experiences.

- Entering a train station at the wrong time may cause you to be bumped and pushed aside like a ping-pong ball by people running and rushing for trains. There are so many people that it can be too much to handle. A wave of strangers rushing at your front and back, trying to desperately reach their destination and not one "excuse me" is uttered! I've grown accustomed to weaving through the traffic of people with minor contact.

- Waiting for a train. People won't let you exit and they will not let you go in. Old people will literally exert their energy to box you out, preventing you from getting on before they do. Now, this should be common sense, those inside get to come out first, while those outside wait their turn to enter. No, this is New York, manners be damned. People want those seats! Especially old people, tired people and readers! This even happens with elevators, people are always in a rush. Two seconds to let me out first is too long for most people. Worst of all, are those who make a bad habit of anticipating an empty elevator. Yes, others ride the elevator.

- Actually sitting on the train. Ever receive the back pack treatment? You're sitting on the train minding your business when someone enters and stands with their back toward you. No problem. Only thing is their huge back pack is mere inches away from your face. You must politely ask the person to adjust.

-  Standing on the train. Those people who get in the train car and do not move from the doors are infuriating. Standing by the doors creates traffic because other people are clearly trying to enter as well. It's called being selfish. People do not care. They want their spot  on the train  even at the expense of others and their own time. The longer it takes for the rest of the commuters to enter the train, the longer the train does not move and makes that annoying beeping sound when the doors fail to close.  They stand on the side because they do not want to be pushed into the middle of the car for fear of potentially being trapped and missing their stop.

- The old ladies on the escalator who you cannot get by. Trapped on the escalator. You should have taken the stairs! No stairs, fine be patient. Cannot be patient. Well, just hope they do not not stop at the end of the escalator to gather themselves. You will be there for quite a while.

- Walking etiquette. You cannot drive in New York. People do not fear or respect drivers. People do not look both ways before crossing. They do not even look before exiting a restaurant or a deli. People walk while texting. People walk as they day dream, (as if they're the only people walking in the world). The worst part is when I am running in Central Park and the pedestrians walk by. They always make it so close. Why not exert a little energy like the old ladies awaiting the train and walk quickly across the path. Do not strut at a normal pace. Do these people crave a collision?

Now that is New York. Take it or leave it. Try to endure it. Be polite. Or hell, yell at people, push people and be brash. That is the beauty of New York. It's versatile.


Now on to a more serious observation of etiquette.

I view proper etiquette as an essential tool. Everyone should have it. Everyone should know it. A social skill to whip out when necessary. Table manners aside. I am speaking of interviewing skills, greeting skills, the skills that would aid anyone in important social scenarios. That is lacking for many people in this country. Forget awkward situations. Those are natural and quite funny honestly, but situations where a job is on the line, everyone should be equipped with a plan for potential success. The opportunity should exist for everyone. Where do we start?

How many times have we heard some miracle story, where a kid "made it out" of his neighborhood? Perhaps fixing the "middle class," working class and poor by starting from the bottom- the foundation is the right move. Let's start with the children, the American government must make a herculean effort to curb behavior for positive reasons that will benefit young men and women. Assist them. Provide them with the social tool box that they can use for the rest of their lives. They're not as dumb as we make them out to be. Furthermore, if they are that dumb, is it not our fault? Education is not truly valued in this country. Face it, this country is not the same anymore. America isn't #1 anymore- Bill Maher. We lack the engineers in this country...but can we at least have a majority populace that is eloquent and literate please?

 Did you see the Louie C.K. epic twitter rant on education? Here you go: Louie Ck's twitter rant against common core Children often ask the proverbial academic question: How is this (Whatever the hell it is they learn nowadays) going to help me in the future? Good question. I don't know either.

I've seen African-Americans and Hispanic men get turned away from job interviews simply because they did not dress well, did not speak well (Loudly, clearly or eloquently enough) or just had "that look." You know, the tough, unlearned, untrustworthy look that many White Americans perceive upon first impression. First impressions sadly mean everything in this world. Many people are ill-equipped to meet the expectations of those first impressions. This is a wrong that must be corrected and quickly. How many professional athletes have we seen in live interviews who cannot even hold a conversation? Their body language is poor because they know that they lack the rhetorical skills to impress. Their voices are low and posture poor. They excel in the physical dynamics of this world, not the verbal. Why can they not excel in both? I love it when I see a famous athlete speak well in front of the cameras. Their versatility is beyond attractive. This country invests far too much in sports. It's all about the coaches in America. Coach are kids for concussions and other sports injures-not life.

Employers say verbal and communication skills, how one dresses and behaves formally, naturally and comfortably are essential to being hired. Many children do not learn these specific skills and strategies because of  their parents or even where they were raised. It is a sad fact. If your parents did not learn this skill set than how would you? If a kid is so stupid, blame the parent, not the teacher. A Message From your Kids' Teachers.

As far as I know, schools do not have "Etiquette classes." You would have to go outside of your school's curriculum to learn about that. Or hell, skim the Internet. Perhaps, there in lies the problem. We should make it easier for our children to be taught. Let's face it, many parents do not parent. The prospects of aiding impoverished children in this country (Socioeconomically, Racially and Politically) are quite bleak. However we can make amends, by reaching out to our children by incorporating etiquette classes in all the major schools of the most populated cities across the country. We must make an effort. These children must be given a chance to get their foot through the door of a job interview, a graduate school interview-anything with the utmost importance to their ambition. Not every kid will become a successful athlete. Not every child will become an actor, a comedian or a model. We must prepare these children with a future outside of sports and entertainment. I want to see more Black and Brown entrepreneurs. Racism is still so deeply rooted in this country. The mindset of Blacks and Hispanics not being able to fit into "White urban high culture." I want to see more blacks and Hispanics prove the doubters, naysayers, and ignorant people wrong!

Here is a study that I read on the discrepancy of high school graduation rate between black and white males in America.

"55 years after the landmark Brown v. Board of Education case, a majority of African-American males in this country are still not graduating from high school."

Study: Graduation Gap Exists Between Blacks and White Males.

We, must all be aware of this. Lawmakers, parents and teachers must combine their strength and close this gap. This would be an incredible service to the American people. It would yield results. No corporate gain or sponsorship would be necessary. This influence could employ hundreds of thousands Americans with jobs training potential teachers to tutor and mentor children and adults in etiquette seminars. Imagine the children who complete these courses or seminars let's say at the ages of 8-12. Young enough, yet mature enough to understand the due diligence of manners, courtesy, proper behavior to aid them in the real world.

Now I am NOT saying, everyone should behave in a "proper" manner always. I am merely illustrating my point of faking it until you can make it. It is good to know proper manners. To quote Roose Bolton from the Game of Thrones novels, "Power tastes best when sweetened by courtesy." Power is always up for grabs. People who fail to behave in social settings fail in life. They are alienated. They become social and political pariahs. How can you get a job if the interviewer does not wish to even hear you speak? Land a great job to you can act the fool at happy hour after a hard days work.

Children must arm themselves with social skills. Here is an example of the entrepreneurial nature of etiquette: Socialsklz