When asked a question like that, does your face immediately contort into a mixture of anger, confusion and desperation? Are you reacting to the accusatory tone of voice which is utilized to deliver a question like that? Does it cause your face to harden?
Now, If the answer is yes, then please, STOP. Relax your face. Sure, it is perfectly normal to react to a question like that, but once you do, try to take a deep breathe and chill. Melt that face of yours. let the anger drop off. There's no need for it.
There are a multitude of reasons for why a person is single, and that's ok. In the immortal words of Don Draper, "You're born alone and you die alone and this world drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts."
Take me for example, as 2014 is coming to a close, I have been in 3 relationships this year. All have been brief. By brief, I mean less than 3 months. Many of my friends find the words "single" and "Greg" to be synonymous.
The question, "Why are you still single?" has been directed toward me so many times that I am no longer annoyed by it. I am now amused. Why? Well, for starters I have many answers and those answers are all honest. My honesty allows me to be care free.
If you're reading this and are "still" single too, perhaps we share the same reasons.
-I cannot control why I am single. I just am.
-I'm too awesome to be in a relationship.
-I'm young.
-I haven't met anyone who is worthy of my time. Yes, I value my time, don't you?
-Met someone at the wrong time.
-Person of interest moved away.
-Feelings faded.
-I screwed up my chances with said person.-
-They screwed up their chances with me.
-Person cannot let go of their ex.
-I'm not right for that person or vice-versa.
-Haven't met someone I want to truly be with
-Every time I meet a hot woman, something is wrong with em.
-Am I picky? I don't know...you tell me.
-The person is timid..."timid bores me," (Ellaria Sand, Game of Thrones).
-Age does in fact matter.
-I never made a move.
-We remained friends.
There are an abundance of reasons. I have come to learn that it is ok. The "still" is yet another convoluted tool that society uses to perpetuate the notion that it is bad to be alone.
If you're alone, then you must be lonely. You need to remain together, eventually marry, have kids and contribute to the population...Yup, I said it. I am now 24. I am at the high point of my life. I have a large network of filmmakers, writers, actors, editors, collaborators, etc. I am happy. I have goals. I am on a mission. The pursuit is keeping me going.
The cliches are true. For me, women come and go.
It is easy to meet women. There is a sea of them. I live in New York City. The opportunities are endless.
Is their a hookup culture? Yes. Do I thrive in it. Hell yes...does it affect my dating habits...of course.
Have I missed out on wonderful opportunities...maybe, but I'm not sweating the past and neither should you.
We live in the age of online dating, instantaneous communication and morbid gossip. We're picky, eager, multi-tasking, shallow individuals, with short attention spans. Swipe right or left people please!
Yet, for me, I enjoy meeting people even if things don't necessarily reflect on the relationship scoreboard of life. I meet women all the time. I love it. Talking to multiple women at once is an awesome learning experience. It also bolsters my chances of getting laid.
So, I do not enter many relationships. In college I seldom dated, I hooked up a lot, because it was...college. Once again, I'm young so I have the perspective of, I don't need a relationship for any reason really.
I don't need a relationship for sex.
We all know this. So let me finally dive in to the core of this post.
Enjoy being single. Revel in it. You're independent. Concentrate on your life. Discover what your ambitions are. Meet your goals. Focus on your dreams. Keep the relationships on the back burner. Have lots of amazing sex. Be a slut, because it's the 21st century, we're all sluts. Get with the program, the program is get busy fucking or get busy dying. People will judge you, you cannot stop them from doing that, by understanding that you will always lose that battle, you actually win it.
You have the rest of your life to be in relationships. If a relationship is really your thing, great. If it's hampering your dreams, then it is time to find a new thing.
I notice that I am the type of person who comes off as a flirt. I come off that way, because I am.
Forget the courting crap...who has time? I'm blunt. If I find you attractive, I'm going to let you know. I'm vulgar. My lexicon can get dirty in heart beat. If you think I'm attractive, let's cut the bullshit and get together.
I remember growing up watching all of these male comedians talk about how women are crazy and they have major emotional issues. You can't live with them and you can't live without em. I learned what that truly meant last year! Relationships are harder than ever. It requires a lot of investment and quite frankly, I have yet to meet someone (post-college) who I have felt strongly enough to pursue anything remotely serious with.
"Why are you still single?"
"How are the women?" It comes again and again. "Why is there no woman around your arm?"
"Greg, you're smart and good looking. Why no girlfriend?"
"Is there something, that you're doing wrong?"
"It's gotta be you." "What's wrong with you?" "Still single?"
It comes in a barrage and does not end until they see you holding hands.
"Where is she?"
I have no concrete answer, because I don't need one. I'm single.
I met this gorgeous Chilean woman named Belu, last year. She called me a Jelou...I thought it meant jealous...I looked it up, it means, "A man who does not realize how handsome he is..."
That's all I have to say on this.
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